How to teach our kids (and ourselves) to behave online

While we do our best as parents to model and teach kids proper etiquette, social graces, and encourage overall good behavior, there seems to be some misconception among people today that once you are online, those rules no longer apply.  

If the word is in the dictionary, then it must be relevant and necessary, right?

Merriam-Webster defines Netiquette as:

rules about the proper and polite way to communicate with other people when you are using the Internet

One of the most valuable skills you can teach your kids today is how to handle themselves online. We spend plenty of time during their early childhood teaching and modeling basic proper behavior, ranging from table manners (“Don’t talk with your mouth full”) to rules on the playground (“Play nice," “Don’t hit," “Take turns”). We proudly and patiently nurture the development of these skills so eventually when they leave the house on their own, they can thrive knowing these basic tools of survival.  

The same applies to digital responsibility. As they grow up and venture online, our hope as parents is that social skills they've learned will carry over to their online behavior.

College administrators, future employers and even parents of potential boyfriends or girlfriends frequently use Google and snooping on social media profiles to check up on your little Johnny. So it’s important for Johnny, and all teens and tweens, to be cautious about what they are doing and what they share online.

Understanding the difference between “digital life” vs. “real life” is the key to appreciating the importance of Netiquette.   The screen on a phone or computer acts as a barrier in between these two worlds. It creates the ultimate force field for feelings and emotions. It’s often very easy to type something online that your teenager may not say in person.  Words can also be easily misconstrued when there isn’t a spoken voice heard behind it. Once words are written, they can’t be taken back. Even with deleting posts, what's read or seen sticks in people's minds and let's not forget about the ability to make screen captures.

Unfortunately, kids be judged by those written words and therein lies the problem. Learning the important skill of Netiquette, however, can help teens and tweens to avoid making embarrassing or troubling mistakes.

Here are some basic guidelines about Netiquette that are great to discuss with kids of all school levels.

• Don’t say or post anything online that you wouldn’t do or say in person

• Be cognizant of who is behind the screen on the other side. Exercise empathy.

• If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say it at all. Just because you are behind a screen doesn't take the feelings away from the person on the other side.
• Use proper grammar. People judge you by the way you write and speak. There’s no way around it.  
• Keep a sense of modesty. If you’re not allowed to wear THAT in school, then don’t post a picture of yourself wearing it online.
• Don’t perpetuate “bad news”. Words hurt. Share the good, not the bad.

How can parents monitor what their kids are doing online?

There are apps out there that help parents monitor anything from texts to emails, or even geolocating your child and knowing how fast they are driving. But to get a true pulse of whether your child exhibits good online behavior and decisions, you need to monitor their social media.

The DijiWise App is an all-in-one tool that captures a bird’s-eye view of what your child is posting on their social accounts. Monitoring the most popular social platforms among teens - Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, DijiWise allows you to view posts, likes, comments and more. See something that concerns you? Just save the post in-app  so you can discuss with your child or spouse later.  It’s that simple.

What do parents do when it's "too late?"

If your child is at the stage of getting ready to apply for college or future jobs, and you want to help them get a sense of how “clean” their social media record is, it's never fully too late to go back and "clean it up." There’s even an (online) app for that as well! The Social U is a platform that helps you connect, correct and continue to monitor online activity.

There are many perks of the World Wide Web. With the worries we carry day to day about our kids, their online behavior doesn't have to be one of them. With some guidance at home and engagement by parents online, it's never too late for our kids to put their best foot forward with a safe and mindful digital footprint.

PRESS RELEASE: PARENT ENTREPRENEURS CREATE DIJIWISE APP TO PROMOTE DIGITAL RESPONSIBILITY

DIJIWISE APP GIVES PARENTS NEW WAY TO START CONVERSATIONS WITH TWEENS AND TEENS

DETROIT & ST. LOUIS -- Social media is a mainstay in the life of many 5th grade to high school-age kids, and with that comes the importance of understanding digital responsibility. That’s why a group of parents with technology, digital and media backgrounds have created DijiWise, an easy-to-use mobile app that keeps parents connected with their kids’ social media activity in real-time to inspire conversations about the moments they share online.

While most parents want to be aware of their child’s online world, 40 percent don’t check their child’s social media, and 1/3 know the password to at least one of their child’s social accounts (Pew Research). With social media usage starting as young as pre-teen years, the importance of education about digital responsibility is critical, no matter the age.

“DijiWise is a company with a cause. Digital parenting and helping our kids understand the benefits and challenges of online behavior and social media is a new responsibility parents have,” states the founding team at DijiWise. “Conversations can become a lost art with busy schedules and technology. Our goal in creating this app is to remove the complexity for parents and encourage conversations.”

DijiWise is available for download for iOS and Android. It features a low-cost subscription via In-App purchase for $4.99 per month - peace of mind and parental engagement for the cost of a cup of coffee.

App features:

●      Dashboard view with real-time updates on social media activity that helps parents interpret actions or inactions, stay familiar with kids’ peer groups, and save time by eliminating the need to hop website to website

●      Ability to monitor up to 4 profiles across Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, with more to come

●      Save feature that enables parents to save an activity as a prompt to discuss later

●      Ability to personalize notification settings and activity you’d like to receive notifications for

●      Tips and trends on digital parenting, social media and teens

The company is led by women who have spent their careers in media and technology, including Stacy Kania, Director of Platform & Product Development, and Cindy Kerber Spellman, the company’s VP of Strategy & Community Development. Both moms whose intersecting career and parenting experiences have heightened their awareness of the importance of digital responsibility as their children grow.

“What digital responsibility and social media usage mean family to family may be different, and that’s ok. If we can empower parents and teens to be comfortable with the subject and become more aware of our digital footprints, then we’re making huge strides in responsibly enjoying the great things social media makes possible,” noted Kerber Spellman.

A DijiWise Community

Beyond the app, through outreach and partnerships, DijiWise is committed to encouraging a community of DijiWise families who practice online responsibility. The Parent Central section on the DijiWise website gives parents access to content about digital parenting, tech and digital trends among teens, online safety and more. Parents can also share and read DijiWise Moments.

ABOUT DIJIWISE

DijiWise is an app with a cause. Made for parents, by parents, we’ve created a new way for parents to stay connected to their children and encourage digital responsibility. By providing a real-time view of a child’s social media activity in one simple place, we make it easier to have conversations about the moments kids share. DijiWise is a women-led startup proud to call Detroit and St. Louis home.

Parent of Teens? Bookmark these sites

The teenage years are busy ones for parents - especially if there are siblings in the house. If you've ever found yourself in need of a dose of inspiration for a gift, meal or activity; up for good laugh, or simply wanting quick info to help with decision making, chances are the Internet or social media have been your saving grace.

What’s out there to help a busy parent of a teenager with all of the above and more? Check out this list of fun online resources we’ve found and get up to speed on sites that can save you time - or become new places where you spend your time!

For shopping, gift ideas, decorating and more: 

CoolMomPicks - It’s worth the venture off of Pinterest to hop over to this site. There’s a bit of something for everyone on Cool Mom Picks. It's a good place to hit for ideas, shopping or plain fun reading. This shopping blog for parents features products, concepts and styles that stand out and are sure to please. It's also covers categories such good, DIY, beauty, tips & tricks, and more. Everything you need to stay current and discover cool ideas for you and your kids.

For new dinner ideas with easy-to-follow recipes: 

Tasty - Buzzfeed’s Tasty is a field of dreams for any parent wanting to switch up the dinner menu routine. Or breakfast. Or dessert. (There’s even a section for comfort foods.) Viewed by millions, Tasty features fast and friendly videos of food ideas and easy-to-follow recipes. They are everywhere on social media, so chances are your teen has already experienced a craving after a seeing a video or two. Trying out these recipes is a great way to get your teen away from screen time and do something productive in the kitchen. They’re simple enough for the novice chef to have a go at helping with dinner prep or baking a new dessert to try. For some extra fun, check out Proper Tasty, the company’s Facebook channel for the British crowd in search of comfort recipes and delights.

For monitoring your kid’s social media activity and tips/education about digital responsibility and online safety: 

DijiWise - DijiWise is an app coming to market that gives parents a real-time view into their child's activity on social media networks such as Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. It takes the wonder and mystery out of what your kids are doing online or in apps on their phone, and gives you peace of mind while prompting conversations when needed. The company’s website also features Parent Central, a hub for content and resources for parents - especially parents of teens - to help navigate the notion of “digital parenting,” provide insights into apps and social networks popular with kids, encourage education about online safety and responsibility, or simply discover fun and informational topics about all things parenting.

For beginning the college search: 

Peterson’s - Choosing a college or university is one of the most important choices a teenager can make. The Internet is a natural gateway for parents and students beginning the college search, but can quickly become overwhelming with the amount of choices and information. Peterson’s is a well-organized website that is a good starting point to identify schools for undergrad, graduate, or online programs. It has a database of more than 50,000 accredited schools and 5,000 scholarships, which simplifies exploring schools and might even inspire careers or opportunities. The site’s information about college prep and entry exams may also be of interest to your high school student.

For finding an online community of like-minded parents experiencing the same things you (or who can help prepare you for things to come!): 

CafeMom - There’s something to be gained from a community of parents who are “in this together” that you’re less apt to find from Instagram posts and Facebook comments. CafeMom is the meeting place for moms, new and experienced. The site features fresh lifestyle and parenting articles, as well as hubs for videos and seeking or sharing advice. A popular function of Cafe Mom is its online community, with groups and conversations that appeal to any parent. Check it out, you might discover that the Tween Titan or Moms of Tweens groups are a good fit for you.

How to Let Your Kids Make Mistakes and Learn

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As your children grow, how you parent and who you are as a parent is likely to evolve. Especially as they become teenagers. The societal debate over the right balance of parenting - helicopter parenting or free-range parenting — ultimately is a personal decision when it comes to what’s right for your parenting style, your family, and in some cases, each individual child.

Regardless of which end of the spectrum you fall on, there’s one thing all parents have in common: our children are going to make mistakes. With the best interest of our hearts, it is tempting to shield our kids from any wrongdoing, but let’s face it — it’s going to happen — and sometimes, it’s okay. At any age, and especially as pre-teen and teenagers, by allowing them to make decisions and have experiences good or bad, kids understand consequences and learn how to be accountable, adapt, and move forward from a situation.

The result is hopefully stronger confidence — and better decision making in the future.

Whether it’s in your teenager’s physical daily life or with their online activity, here’s how to let your children make mistakes - and learn.

Use your child’s mistake as a teaching moment. When it comes to social media, it’s inevitable that your teen/preteen will make a mistake. Maybe it’s saying the wrong thing or posting the wrong photo. Here’s where a big teaching moment comes in. Using behavior you want them to exhibit toward others as they mature, talk about what was said or done, and learn from it together. Don’t hesitate to punish, if necessary, so they understand there are sometimes consequences to their actions. (A teen without their phone will learn very quickly.)

Use these moments to teach your child the art of the apology. When a child makes a mistake, hurts someone’s feelings or acts rudely, whether it’s intentional or not, they not only need to stop the behavior, they need to understand what it is like to be remorseful, and apologize. The kid in trouble may not think something is a big deal, fully understand what their action represents, or the impact it has on another person. Encouraging your teenager to think about their actions and apologize to anyone impacted, will teach them respect - and earn them respect.

One parent’s example is of her teenager’s first exposure to social media and Instagram. A friend posted a picture with all of their buddies hanging out at someone’s house, only her son was not invited. His knee-jerk reaction was to lash out at these friends, in writing, by commenting on the photo. He said some pretty mean things to his friend because he was so hurt that he was left out. The mother regularly monitors her children’s social media activity (with easy to use apps such as DijiWise), and saw the exchange the next day. She sat down and talked with him about it, and helped him sort through his very real anger surrounding the first time he truly felt excluded. In this situation, he learned how to handle it better and how not to put unkind words on Instagram or other social media networks. At first, she had him remove the post, followed by a public apology to the friend online. She then had her son meet his friend face-to-face to talk about what happened. During that conversation he learned the situation of the photo, which in fact had taken place while he was out of town, so he wasn’t left out after all. Water now under the bridge -- an important learning moment.

Use real-life, relatable examples of mistakes you or others have made, and what happened as a result. Share a personal story, or an example of someone he or she may know, even a celebrity or public figure. Add these real-life lessons into daily conversation so your child can see consequences of making mistakes, especially ones that include online activity or social media. By doing so, your child will understand they’re not being singled out, and that just because it happens elsewhere, doesn’t mean it’s okay. This will also help your teenager continue to mature into an adult who is respectful of themselves and of others, responsible in their daily interactions, and who practices online safety and digital responsibility.

Just remember, we’re not failing as parents when our kids make mistakes. It’s human and we make them, too. Most of us didn’t grow up with social media (or the Internet for that matter), so it is difficult to truly understand what kids go through today. Finding a good balance between helicopter and free-range parenting when dealing with our kids’ daily lives and social media usage will empower them with the knowledge and ability to make good choices and hopefully avoid “the talk” next time.

Halloween Safety Tips for a Wickedly Fun Night for Parents and Kids

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The one week countdown to Halloween has begun as costume ideas are getting finalized and bags of candy bought. We’re excited to see all the ghosts and ghouls come out and play, but want to keep any real danger away. There'll be a lot of running around on Halloween night so it's important to talk about safety with your kids before they head out to trick or treat. They're so excited for the night but as parents, it'll be easier to enjoy Halloween when we have some peace of mind.

Here are some tips to help make Halloween both monstrously fun and safe:

Start early (and get first pick on candy!)

Indulge in your kids’ eagerness and kick off trick or treating when the sun is still out. This way, their pillowcases and plastic buckets will fill up before it gets too dark out.

Stay in well-lit areas

Advise your kids to stay on pedestrian friendly neighborhoods with street lamps. Once dusk sets in, it’ll be easier for them to see and not get lost.

Travel in groups

Parents often accompany young kids, but if your kids are ready to go off without you, encourage them to go with a group. It’s safer to travel in a pack, especially once the sun starts to set.

Use the buddy system

It can be easy to wander off while trick or treating. Have your kids choose a buddy so that they stick together on their quest for candy.

Set a check-in time

Whether it’s at a specific time or after they’re done trick or treating, plan a time for your kids to touch base with you. Set an alarm on their phone so that they get to enjoy the night but don’t lose track of time.