Why Social Network Privacy Policy Updates Should Matter To Parents

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Last week’s Internet frenzy about Snapchat’s updated privacy policy really wasn’t about Snapchat. It was about a movement of consumers -- parents and teenagers, like you, me, and our children -- caring more about privacy policies and how our personal information is stored and used. It was also about the fog that lingers when it comes to understanding what they mean.

The reality is, privacy policies are important to digital parenting, especially now. Our tweens and teens are still maturing and growing, and as apps and social networks pop up and quickly trend, it is our responsibility to help them navigate and watch out for their well-being. Just like we would when they start to date or learn to drive a car.

“It was about a movement of consumers — parents and teenagers, like you, me, and our children — caring more about privacy policies and how our personal information is stored and used.”

ICYMI, the video and photo-sharing app Snapchat updated its Privacy Policy and Terms of Service. It was an attempt by the company, in part, to make its privacy policy more understandable in language familiar to us and to its 100 million users. The company is also maturing, so understandably, it is bound to update its privacy policy and terms of service at multiple points to support its evolving offerings and growth. (Parents, we highly recommend reading up on it.)

The social network makes it possible to capture and share ‘live moments.” It is most known and trusted by teenagers for its appealing main feature: content is deleted from Snapchat’s servers after it has been shared and viewed or expired. That comfort quickly came into question as Snapchat’s updated privacy policy detailed scenarios in which content or data is used across the app’s different features. The phrases “in many cases,” “in most cases” and other language about ownership, content usage and license caused concern and confusion about whether content is actually deleted and how a person’s activity on Snapchat is used. Like many social networks before it who have updated their privacy policies, Snapchat quickly turned around and issued a statement to further explain what it meant with its updates.

Let’s step back and acknowledge for a moment two things:

1. Privacy policies are in place a) to clear a legal pathway for a company to conduct its desired business, and b) to help the user of a service understand how their information is being used. Policy language doesn’t have to be foreign and confusing, but it often is. Why? Because it’s an attempt to explain the legal language, how the business works and how it impacts us as their customer. Regardless of how it is worded, its context is something most parents and teenagers simply aren’t familiar with.
    
2. Do we care? Yes -- and then no. By nature, we find something we like and we want it to work when we use it. Life is good, and that’s what we care about. We care a little more when something suddenly emerges that affects us personally, and after that understanding sinks in or confusion fades away, we’re back to square one - we have something we like and we’re happily using it.

As parents we can’t be everywhere and know everything, but when it comes to guiding and protecting our children, regardless of age, the fine print in digital media should - and does - matter.

Here’s why:

• Understanding app and social media privacy policies and terms of service help you differentiate between perceived understanding of how something works or is used, and actual reality. Is your child’s profile visible to just friends or to the public? Is location information shared? Being equipped with this information helps you to have an informed conversation with your children about the pros and cons of what they’re using, and guidelines and expectations, if necessary.

• Updates to privacy policies and terms of service can impact a user’s privacy settings in an app or on a social network. Privacy settings are important as it’s one way companies give you control over how some information is shared or used. Therefore, it’s important to remind your child regularly to update or check their privacy settings -- or do it with them.
   
• How an app or social network works and uses your teenager’s content via features or functions can have a secondary-effect on your child. These environments are more than forums for expression or keeping in touch with friends. Often times by the sharing of content, capturing of screen grabs and access to strangers or public audiences, digital media usage can create situations or come with subtle nuances that impact your child’s daily life - confidence, feeling accepted, bullying, breaking of trust, embarrassment, feeling left out, and more. Staying on top of privacy policies and terms of service helps make you an aware parent who can watch for the effects of how your child’s activity is impacting them personally and among their peers. (For a powerful example, see this article from Yahoo Parenting of a teenage Instagram star’s wake-up call and first-hand account.)
   
• Innovation happens fast, which means privacy policies and terms of services can change quickly, too. This doesn’t mean new features, monetization or usage of information were never a part of a company’s vision, but digital media and technology continue to make new ways of communicating and behaving possible. So don’t be surprised when you hear about updates from established or emerging companies. Instead, take it as a cue to pay attention and see if and how your child might be affected.

“As parents we can’t be everywhere and know everything, but when it comes to guiding and protecting our children, regardless of age, the fine print in digital media should - and does - matter.”

So while you might treat social media and digital media privacy policies similarly to the prospectuses you receive annually about the funds in your investment portfolio, or the privacy updates you get in the mail about your credit card (quick read, if at all, and toss), as parents we have a greater responsibility to understand where our kids are spending time, even if it’s virtual, and to discuss and decide, like everything else, where our comfort levels fall and where our expectations stand.

To get a head start on understanding the policies of a handful of apps and social networks popular with kids, check out this list.

Scary Parenting Moments: Turn Them into Accomplishments

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We came across a hilarious Halloween sign this week that said “You can’t scare me, I have teenagers,” and reflected on how this tongue-in-cheek quote held some truth. From your baby’s first step to your teenager’s first drive, there are many moments that stand out for a parent. Along the way, there will be unexpected first scares as well especially by the time the teenage years roll in. Preparing for some of those situations, like the first time your kids stay home alone or have to go into surgery, can turn a potential scare into a momentous accomplishment to celebrate.   

Leaving them home alone

Once your kids are ready to stay home alone, set up some guidelines and make sure they have emergency contact numbers. Try running some small errands at first to make sure they’re comfortable the first few times.

More tips here from Child Welfare Information Gateway

Going on their first date

Your teen’s first date can be a nerve-wracking experience, for both you and your kid! Have honest conversations with them about when they can date and your different expectations. Before they leave the house, agree on the guidelines and a curfew time for peace-of-mind.

More tips here from Family Life

Take the driving test

Seeing your teen behind the wheel for the first time can be momentous. Prepare them beforehand and lead by example. Explain traffic signals and rules to them when you are driving and when you switch off, stay calm when you’re in the passenger seat.

More tips here from Teen Driving

Cooking in the kitchen

Teaching your kids how to cook and making a meal together can be a great bonding experience! Share safety tips with them first like how to handle knives and turn on stoves, and then pick a fun recipe to make together.

More tips here from Raising Children

Getting surgery

Going under for surgery can be a scary thing for anyone, but if your kids are especially afraid, help prepare them for the big day. Let them know what to expect from the surgery and make up a fun game to play at the hospital.

More tips here from Hand in Hand Parenting

We know that at times, parenting can be scary. Let our DijiWise app take the scare out of social media and help you monitor your kids. Sign up to be notified when DijiWise is available for download!

Halloween Safety Tips for a Wickedly Fun Night for Parents and Kids

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The one week countdown to Halloween has begun as costume ideas are getting finalized and bags of candy bought. We’re excited to see all the ghosts and ghouls come out and play, but want to keep any real danger away. There'll be a lot of running around on Halloween night so it's important to talk about safety with your kids before they head out to trick or treat. They're so excited for the night but as parents, it'll be easier to enjoy Halloween when we have some peace of mind.

Here are some tips to help make Halloween both monstrously fun and safe:

Start early (and get first pick on candy!)

Indulge in your kids’ eagerness and kick off trick or treating when the sun is still out. This way, their pillowcases and plastic buckets will fill up before it gets too dark out.

Stay in well-lit areas

Advise your kids to stay on pedestrian friendly neighborhoods with street lamps. Once dusk sets in, it’ll be easier for them to see and not get lost.

Travel in groups

Parents often accompany young kids, but if your kids are ready to go off without you, encourage them to go with a group. It’s safer to travel in a pack, especially once the sun starts to set.

Use the buddy system

It can be easy to wander off while trick or treating. Have your kids choose a buddy so that they stick together on their quest for candy.

Set a check-in time

Whether it’s at a specific time or after they’re done trick or treating, plan a time for your kids to touch base with you. Set an alarm on their phone so that they get to enjoy the night but don’t lose track of time.

Our Kids Want Their Privacy: How Generation Z is reevaluating social media

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At DijiWise, we believe in the importance of having open conversations with our kids to better understand where they’re coming from and to give them support as they become more and more independent. As parents, it can be difficult for us to let go because we’d like to believe that we know best but our kids can surprise us. This week, we came across the Teen Vogue article Why Some of Social Media's Biggest Stars Are Deleting Their Accounts — and Maybe You Should, Too, which speaks directly to Generation Z, kids ages 2 to 19. It details the decisions of celebrity role models, like Lena Dunham and Jaden Smith, to ditch direct interactions with social media because of toxic online environments and the desire to connect with people in real life.

Referring to the New York Times’ article Move Over, Millennials, Here Comes Generation Z, Teen Vogue notes that wanting more privacy is a big reason for disconnecting from social media. “‘As far as privacy, they are aware of their personal brand, and have seen older Gen Y-ers screw up by posting too openly,’ Dan Gould, a trend consultant at an advertising agency, told The Times.” Our kids are young enough to observe how older generations have used it as a powerful channel for both positive and negative interactions and learn from those mistakes. While the rest of us figure out ways to incorporate and balance out social media in our lives, our kids have the interesting task of figuring out when to remove it as a generation that has always had social media.

“As far as privacy, they are aware of their personal brand, and have seen older Gen Y-ers screw up by posting too openly.”

— Dan Gould

As parents, it’s enlightening to see Teen Vogue continue a dialogue around privacy and online behavior that kids may already be having with themselves and one another. In many instances, they will take the lead in handling situations that don’t feel right. Of course there can be missteps, which is why we need to be supportive in guiding them and establishing a trusting relationship, but our kids are attuned with how social media plays into their lives. And they will become an even larger factor in how the digital space evolves.

Must Watch: CNN documentary shows parents the importance of being DijiWise

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CNN’s Special Report on Monday, October 5th, #Being13: Inside the Secret World of Teens, covered how social media has changed what it’s like to be a teenager in the US. A year of research was conducted with over 200 13 year-olds to find out how teens actually use social media. CNN also reached out to parents to see what they thought of their kid’s social media usage. Parents wanted to understand their kids’ worlds, but many said that keeping up with their kids’ social media is like chasing a runaway train. At DijiWise, this is a pain we personally understand and a core motivation for designing our DijiWise app to be the monitoring app for kids’ social networks. CNN found that not only are teenagers actively using social media but are also spending a significant amount of time passively scrolling through social media without posting anything.

“Parents wanted to understand their kids’ worlds, but many said that keeping up with their kids’ social media is like chasing a runaway train.”

From their write-up of the report, CNN found that this “‘lurking,’ reading the never-ending stream of their peers' activities without posting anything themselves,” only greater emphasizes those who are popular and those who are not. A selfie posted by a popular kid will get a skyrocketing number of likes simply because they are already well-known. For kids who aren’t usually invited to hang out with others, seeing photos of movie gatherings and mall trips on Facebook and Instagram makes them feel even more isolated.

The report revealed how social media amplifies the feeling of exclusion.

“When we asked 13-year olds ‘What is the worst thing that happened to you on media,’ their responses included these:

• Being excluded to some parties.
• My best friends hung out without me, and posted it on instagram.
• My friends went out without me and posted pictures on instagram then denied they were out together.
• Not anything specific, but I don't like when people post pictures or tweet about a party that I wasn't invited to.
• Seeing pictures posted by my friends doing things where I wasn't included.”

It’s common to feel excluded when we aren’t invited to an event, but social media allows kids who weren’t included to see the fun that they missed out on. And even if the party wasn’t great, a quick smile for the camera means that the photos from the party made it seem great. People tend to share happy moments on social media and not the difficult ones, a distinction that may be aparent to an adult but to kids. For middle schoolers, the line between the real world and the cyber world doesn't exist. This imbalanced perception affects teenagers as they develop their own self-identity and understanding of the world. As parents, it’s important to communicate to our children the filtered nature of social media and how they are never alone in their struggles.

“For middle schoolers, the line between the real world and the cyber world doesn’t exist.”

At DijiWise, we feel that monitoring our kids’ social media activity is only the first step. We believe in having open and honest conversations with our kids to help guide them through some of the most formative years of their lives.